Living Creatures Detected In A Parallel Universe
“They’re Screwing With Our Heads,” Say Scientists
By Red Dog
When we depict extra-terrestrials (ETs), we usually portray them in one of three ways:
- The proctological ones, who… well, you know. (You have to wonder what such creatures do for fun.)
- The hostile ones, who think of our planet as a Waffle House© on the galactic turnpike and we humans are the hash-browns―scattered, smothered and covered.
- The benevolent ones, who can teach us the secrets of the universe such as how to make ketchup that doesn’t get that watery goop on top.
Of course, those are the ETs from within our universe. However, many scientists believe that not only do parallel universes exist, but that some of them are inhabited by human-like creatures. Furthermore, there is empirical evidence that suggests these creatures can cross into our universe and mess with us.
“What empirical evidence?” you ask.
Okay, let’s say you put down an ordinary object. It could be your car keys, a cell phone—or, if you’re a pathologist—a bone saw. You come back an hour later and the object is gone. You search for it and eventually find it in a different location. There are two probable explanations for this:
- You’re losing your marbles. This is certainly possible, but since it happens to people all over the world, it can’t be the only reason. Otherwise, we’d be inundated in marbles.
- Creatures from a parallel universe have crossed over into ours and deliberately moved these objects just to screw with our heads. Since no one has seen these creatures, we have to assume they have figured out how to take on human form, quite possibly duplicating a friend, neighbor or family member.
So how can you tell if someone you think you know is actually one of them? Simply engage them in conversation. If they don’t complain about the government, their cable service or lawyers for more than ten minutes, then they are not human. Immediately report them to the authorities.
The other thing we need to do is build a wall around our universe. Since the universe is really big and expanding rapidly, this will be a very expensive project. Therefore, we can’t expect the Mexican government to pay for the entire wall. The rest of us will have to contribute our fair share. But isn’t it a small price to pay, knowing that your keys and your bone saw will always be right where you left them?