KKK Drops “Whites Only” Policy…
“We Welcome Bigots Of All Races,” Spokesman Says.
According to recent news reports, a number of white supremacist groups are convinced that we are entering a new era of bigotry―an age in which hatred and racism are not only tolerated, but widely accepted. In that spirit, the Ku Klux Klan (aka the KKK, or the Klan), has announced a radical change in its membership policies.
As Klan spokesman David Duke explained, “We realize that by restricting our members to dumbass rednecks, we are excluding a lot of qualified racists. After all, there are bigots of all colors and creeds in this great country, and they deserve a chance to be part of a hate group just as much as white trash.
“Therefore, we are announcing the formation of a KKK minority outreach program, which, with a few minor exceptions, will be all-inclusive. We’ll no longer deny people access to the Klan based on their race, religion or ethnicity, and welcome groups like hebes and camel jockeys, I mean Arabs and Jews, as long as they demonstrate the prejudice and bigotry that we require.
“The exceptions, of course, are gays and papists, because, let’s face it, if we let everyone in, there won’t be anybody left to hate.
“In closing, I’d like to state that this isn’t just minority tokenism as some might think. In fact, we are so committed to making these people feel welcome, that in all of our meeting halls and offices, we are putting in special bathrooms and water fountains exclusively for them.”