Hurricane Guide: The Proper Wine For Each Category

If you live anywhere near the coastal US, you are constantly hearing about hurricane preparedness. And you are encouraged to stock up on essential items like food, water, batteries, etc. However, you never hear about the single most important item―alcohol, particularly for wine drinkers.

As a community service, Byteing Words has compiled the following list that will help you choose the proper wine for all five storm categories.

Category 1, Wind Speed 74–95 mph

Storm effects: No major structural damage. Tree limbs down; shrubbery uprooted.

Wine selection: This light, breezy storm calls for a corresponding wine. An airy Chablis or an unassuming Sauvignon Blanc are good choices.

Category 2, Wind Speed 96–110 mph

Storm effects: Damage to roofs and windows; low-lying flooding.

Wine selection: A more complex storm calls for more complex wines. A zesty Pinot Noir or a saucy Zinfandel will go quite nicely.

Category 3, Wind Speed 111–130 mph

Storm effects: Mobile homes destroyed; structural damage to small residences.

Wine selection: A hearty, robust storm calls for commensurate wines. A stolid port or a sturdy Burgundy are both excellent choices.

Category 4, Wind Speed 131–155 mph

Storm effects: Extensive structural damage; trees uprooted, torrential rain; major coastal flooding.

Wine selection: A storm of this magnitude calls for a well-anesthetized mental state. Gallo by the gallon or any wine in a box should do the trick.

Category 5, Wind Speed over 155 mph

Storm effects: Catastrophic damage; complete building failures; storm surges exceeding 15 feet.

Wine selection: This end-of-the-world storm demands that you load up on your brown-bag, bum-wines. Vintages like Thunderbird, MD 20/20 and Night Train Express are good options. But first get your affairs in order. If the storm doesn’t kill you the hangover will.