Creepy Clown Refuses To Stand For National Anthem

(Cites History Of “Clownism” In US As Reason)


It was a beautiful Autumn day at the State Fairgrounds of Central Florida, and the opening ceremonies of the American Creepy Clown Jamboree had just begun. When the playing of the national anthem was announced, all the attendees rose to their feet. All but one that is―a creepy clown who remained seated for the entire song.

As people noticed that he wasn’t standing, angry shouts could be heard from the crowd.  Words such as…

“Stand up you traitor!” and,

“Get outta town commie clown!” and,

“Go back to Lithuania you creep!” were heard by this reporter. (Although no one I spoke to seemed to understand the reference to Lithuania.)

When the opening ceremonies were concluded, I caught up with the protesting clown and asked him why he’d refused to stand for the anthem.

“I cannot pay tribute to a country in which creepy clowns are treated like ghoulish, malevolent entities,” he replied.

“But I thought that’s what you guys were going for,” I said.

“No, that’s just what most people believe,” he said. “But really, we’re exactly like everyone else… except for the creepy clown part, that is.”

Reactions from the presidential candidates were swift and predictable. In multiple tweets Donald Trump said: “This is Hillary and Obama’s fault because we don’t have secure borders. When I become president I’ll ship all the creepy clowns back to Lithuania! Then I’ll build a concrete wall between America and Lithuania.”

When asked why Lithuania, Trump responded, “I dunno. I just heard that’s where creepy clowns come from.”

At the same time Mrs. Clinton sent out 30,000 e-mails with the statement: “While I personally would not choose this form of protest, I respect and defend any clown’s right to do so. You see, as a self-serving hypocrite, I too, have suffered the sting of prejudice and persecution.”

Apparently, this act has inspired other creepy clowns to raise their voices in protest. In fact, the National Association for the Protection of Creepy Clowns (NAPCC) has demanded that the national anthem be changed from The Star Spangled Banner to Send in the Clowns.

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