Trump Is Elected; Then Demands A Recount…
“I Was Just In It For The Publicity!” Says Donald.
In a stunning upset, Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election over highly-favored Hillary Clinton. However, in giving his acceptance speech, the President-elect did not sound overjoyed.
“I never expected to win; I was just in it for the publicity,” he explained. “So I did everything I could to lose. I made up a bunch of ludicrous campaign pledges like building a 2,000 mile wall between the US and Mexico, deporting 11 million aliens and bailing out of NATO.
“Plus, I tried to insult every minority group in America, even the military. Finally, I acted like a spoiled child by threatening to challenge the election results if I lost. And 60 million Americans still voted for me. What does a guy have to do to lose an election?”
“You mean you don’t want to be President?” asked a reporter
“Hell, no!” replied Trump. “Who in their right mind would? You’re flooded with problems, bombarded with criticism, and you have to deal with politicians on a daily basis. Plus, you can’t even get a little nooky on the side anymore. I’m demanding a recount. Maybe I’ll ask if CNN can count the votes. That way I’ll surely lose.”