NFL Execs to Undergo Voluntary Concussion Procedures
In a bold (for them) statement, NFL representatives have admitted that there is a teeny-tiny possibility that football-related concussions could have a miniscule connection to long-term brain damage.
However, to demonstrate their contention to the contrary, top NFL executives have agreed to undergo voluntary concussion procedures. These procedures will be shown live on the NFL Network as a pay-per-view event and will include Commissioner Roger Goodell as both the emcee and a concussion volunteer.
When NFL owners were asked if they agreed with this plan, their spokesman said, “Hell yeah, we love it! After all, we hired those boys ′cause they weren’t too bright. Gettin’ whacked upside the head ain’t gonna make ’em much dumber. Besides, we’ll make tons of dough off this rodeo. Who wouldn’t pay good money to see Goodell get clobbered a few times?”
When the NFL Players Association representative was asked about this he said, “We consider this a grandstand play, and it will do nothing to address the serious problem of CTE [Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy].”
However, when polled, the vast majority of current and former NFL players said it was a marvelous idea, and most were eager to take an active part in the event.