Errant Church Notices

(A Web Classic But Still Pretty Funny)

Byteing_Words_ErrantChurchThis afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be Baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.

Wednesday, the Ladies’ Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put Me in My Little Bed,” accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be little mothers, please meet with the pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the altar.

The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind, and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Tonight’s sermon: “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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